Sunday, October 3, 2010


Fort Jackson Army Base, Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Home to the US Army Chaplain Center and School.

But hidden below the Chaplain's School's Motor Pool, beneath miles of concrete and steel...

...Is the Top Secret Location of G.I. Joe Headquarters. Code Name: The Pit.

Flint: So Hawk, what did those dildos over at SOCOM want this time?

Hawk: Oh, nothing. Some Brit had his knickers in a bunch about some "mysterious terrorist" organization called "Cobra" or something and they want the Joes to stay on the lookout.

Flint: Cobra? Sounds gay.

Hawk: Yeah, totally gay. Anyway, I need you to take a squad and transport some warheads to some contractors in Charleston.

Flint: No sweat. See you later, chief.


Flint: All right, Joes, listen up! This military contractor is well connected to the highest levels of government. We need to make sure these warheads are delivered safe and sound!

Stalker: Gung Ho, Roadblock! You heard the man! Get those warheads loaded into the cargo truck. Once they're loaded, we'll convoy down to Charleston and get them delivered.

Roadblock: Whatever you say. Uncle Tom mothafucka...

Gung Ho: Yo, Joe!

Flint: Once Roadblock and Gung Ho get the roadheads loaded up, Falcon and Stalker will lead the convoy and I'll ride with you Lady Jaye!

Lady Jaye: Warheads. You mean warheads.

Flint: What did I say?

Lady Jaye: You said "Road Head."

Flint: I think you're hearing things, Lady Jaye.

Flint: All right, Joes! Let's roll out!

Falcon: Isn't that what Optimus Prime says?

Stalker: Who is Optimus Prime?

Falcon: Nevermind.

Firefly: Here they come...right on schedule....


Flint: Glad we're finally on the Road...head toward Charleston.

Lady Jaye: Knock it off.

Flint: What?

Stalker: This sure is an easy assignment. Nothing could possibly go wrong....


Cobra Squadron: COBRA!!!!

Lady Jaye: Flint, wake up! We've got company!

Firefly: Run the V.A.M.P.s off the road!

Firefly: With the rear guard out of the way, we can get the warheads!

Cobra Soldiers: COBRA!!!

Cobra Soldier #2: Firefly, we've got the warheads loaded, sir!

Firefly: Mission accomplished! Let's get out of here and get these warheads back to Cobra Commander!

Cobra Squadron: COBRA!!!


Stalker: What the hell was that?!

Flint: I think I know, Stalker. And if I'm right, then we've got to get back to the Pit and tell General Hawk what just happened.

Hawk: Flint! I just read your report! What the hell happened out there?!

Flint: General Hawk...I think Cobra is real.

Hawk: Dear God. If you're right Flint, then Cobra's not only real...but it's got our roadheads.

Flint: Warheads.

Hawk: What did I say?

in Chapter Three: ENTER DESTRO!