Sunday, February 19, 2012

CHAPTER 10: Blood


ZARANA: Well, well, well, Zartan...mum was wrong about you.  You've done pretty well fer yerself, 'ere.  You can barely smell Torch's piss over in 'is corner, 'ere.

ZARTAN: Nevermind 'at, Sis.  You an' me has got to figger a way to get me Dreadnoks back before they spill their guts about me...or worse, about Cobra.

ZARANA: Zartan, ye got all ye need?  Lookit all 'see motorcycles!  Why do ye need more money from some clandestine terrorist organization?  What do ye want what ye don't already got?

ZARTAN: Don't ye start givin' me lectures now, lass.  I ain't worried about my excessive accumulation of material goods...I'm worried about me fookin' neck.  If any o' them Dreadnoks spill 'eir guts about Cobra, then I'm a dead man.  

ZARANA: Fookin' 'ell, Zartan, they got nicked by a bunch a bloody Yanks.  Whassa worst 'at could 'appen?


RIPPER: AAAAaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!

SGT. SLAUGHTER: A little too much juice to this one's balls, Duke--he passed out.  We're not getting anything out of him.

DUKE: Well, your bum buddy over there couldn't take the pain.  Can you take the pain?  I'll bet you can take the pain if I give it to you like a dog.  Hear me?  I'm gonna make you hurt...doggy style!

TORCH: *whimper*

DUKE: That's right,'s gonna

LAW & ORDER: Ummm...okay, Duke, on that note I think it's time to put these boys back in their cell.  We'll continue interrogating them tomorrow.

DUKE: I'll be back tomorrow, sweetheart.  You may want to sit on your bedpost tonight because--

LAW & ORDER: --Alright, alright, Duke.  Calm down, that's enough.

SGT. SLAUGHTER: I don't mean to speak out of turn, but I think Duke likes this advanced interrogation stuff a little too much.

LAW & ORDER: Gee, Sarge, you think?


RIPPER: Oy...wha' happened?  Me bits n' pieces...

BUZZER: They fried your nut sack with jumper cables.

BUZZER: I sure 'ope 'ol Zartan busts us outta here soon...I dunna know how much more our scrotums ken take.


LIFELINE: Okay, that's the last unit of antibiotic...I think you're going to pull through, Falcon.

HAWK: Sorry about you getting tagged by that sniper, Falcon.  But Bazooka came through and disarmed the warhead.

FALCON: What's going on out there, Hawk?  Warheads?  In volcanoes?  It just doesn't make sense...

HAWK: Seriously.  And to make matters worse, we've lost contact with our boys at the South Pole.

LIFELINE: know, Ross Island has two dormant volcanoes, Mt. Terror and Mt. Erebus.  Have you...

HAWK: You hear something, Falcon?

FALCON: Yeah...kinda sounds like...nerd.

HAWK: Sure does.  Heh heh.

LIFELINE: You guys are dicks.

HAWK:  Just yankin' your chain, Lifeline.  You're right.  There are volcanoes down there, and judging by what happened to Falcon here, we need to get re-establish communications with Stalker's squad and get them extracted before it's too late.  I've activated the only Joe for the job, and if I'm not mistaken...

HAWK: ...He just walked in.

LIFELINE: Holy Mary, mother of...

LIFELINE:'s Snake Eyes!

HAWK: Right you are, Lifeline.  And right now, he's Stalker's only hope.


ZARTAN: I need ye to 'elp me bust out the Dreadnoks, Sis, but you an' I bofe know, we canna' do it alone...

ZARANA: Right you are, Zartan.  If we're gonna' do this, 'en we need to call in...

ZARANA: ...Zandar.


  1. Note: I know Law's name isn't "Law & Order." His name is Law, his German Shepherd's name is Order, and together, they are Law & Order. But it just looked weird having a guy only named "Law" talking.

    Maybe I will change that in the director's cut.