IN AN ABANDONED SERVICE STATION ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF NEW ORLEANS...
ZARANA: Well, well, well, Zartan...mum was wrong about you. You've done pretty well fer yerself, 'ere. You can barely smell Torch's piss over in 'is corner, 'ere.
ZARTAN: Nevermind 'at, Sis. You an' me has got to figger a way to get me Dreadnoks back before they spill their guts about me...or worse, about Cobra.
ZARANA: Zartan, ye got all ye need? Lookit all 'see motorcycles! Why do ye need more money from some clandestine terrorist organization? What do ye want what ye don't already got?
ZARTAN: Don't ye start givin' me lectures now, lass. I ain't worried about my excessive accumulation of material goods...I'm worried about me fookin' neck. If any o' them Dreadnoks spill 'eir guts about Cobra, then I'm a dead man.
ZARANA: Fookin' 'ell, Zartan, they got nicked by a bunch a bloody Yanks. Whassa worst 'at could 'appen?
AT THAT MOMENT...
RIPPER: AAAAaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!
SGT. SLAUGHTER: A little too much juice to this one's balls, Duke--he passed out. We're not getting anything out of him.
DUKE: Well, your bum buddy over there couldn't take the pain. Can you take the pain? I'll bet you can take the pain if I give it to you like a dog. Hear me? I'm gonna make you hurt...doggy style!
TORCH: *whimper*
DUKE: That's right, bitch...it's gonna hurt...so...good....
LAW & ORDER: Ummm...okay, Duke, on that note I think it's time to put these boys back in their cell. We'll continue interrogating them tomorrow.
DUKE: I'll be back tomorrow, sweetheart. You may want to sit on your bedpost tonight because--
LAW & ORDER: --Alright, alright, Duke. Calm down, that's enough.
SGT. SLAUGHTER: I don't mean to speak out of turn, but I think Duke likes this advanced interrogation stuff a little too much.
LAW & ORDER: Gee, Sarge, you think?
LATER...
RIPPER: Oy...wha' happened? Me bits n' pieces...
BUZZER: They fried your nut sack with jumper cables.
BUZZER: I sure 'ope 'ol Zartan busts us outta here soon...I dunna know how much more our scrotums ken take.
MEANWHILE, UPSTAIRS IN THE INFIRMARY...
LIFELINE: Okay, that's the last unit of antibiotic...I think you're going to pull through, Falcon.
HAWK: Sorry about you getting tagged by that sniper, Falcon. But Bazooka came through and disarmed the warhead.
FALCON: What's going on out there, Hawk? Warheads? In volcanoes? It just doesn't make sense...
HAWK: Seriously. And to make matters worse, we've lost contact with our boys at the South Pole.
LIFELINE: Warheads...volcanoes...you know, Ross Island has two dormant volcanoes, Mt. Terror and Mt. Erebus. Have you...
HAWK: You hear something, Falcon?
FALCON: Yeah...kinda sounds like...nerd.
HAWK: Sure does. Heh heh.
LIFELINE: You guys are dicks.
HAWK: Just yankin' your chain, Lifeline. You're right. There are volcanoes down there, and judging by what happened to Falcon here, we need to get re-establish communications with Stalker's squad and get them extracted before it's too late. I've activated the only Joe for the job, and if I'm not mistaken...
HAWK: ...He just walked in.
LIFELINE: Holy Mary, mother of...
LIFELINE: ...it's Snake Eyes!
HAWK: Right you are, Lifeline. And right now, he's Stalker's only hope.
BACK AT THE TEXACO...
ZARTAN: I need ye to 'elp me bust out the Dreadnoks, Sis, but you an' I bofe know, we canna' do it alone...
ZARANA: Right you are, Zartan. If we're gonna' do this, 'en we need to call in...
ZARANA: ...Zandar.
TO BE CONTINUED in CHAPTER 11: NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS!
Note: I know Law's name isn't "Law & Order." His name is Law, his German Shepherd's name is Order, and together, they are Law & Order. But it just looked weird having a guy only named "Law" talking.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I will change that in the director's cut.
Abu Gharib Joe! Well done.
ReplyDelete